Happiness is a Choice
1. Give up caring what other people think of you. I know it seems counter intuitive as we humans are primal pack animals that don’t want to be cast from the village, but spending time worrying what others think, is a waste of energy. You’ll never please everyone and it’s none of your business what others think of you.
2. Give up trying to please everyone. Unless you’re living life to the beat of your own drum, your tribe won’t be able to find you. Be the best version of you you can be, and you’ll naturally attract in the people that are supposed to surround you.
3. Give up participating in gossip. 100 percent of the time, those sharing gossip with you will gossip about you. Believing gossip is like gambling everything on a horse sight unseen. It’s naive.
4. Quit worrying. Where thoughts go, energy flows. Worry is investing time and energy in something you don’t want to have happen. Learn to let go and trust.
5. Let go of insecurity. When we take ourselves too seriously, we think everyone else does too. There is one version of you on the planet. Be it, own it and quit worrying about it. No one really cares or watches you that closely.
6. Stop taking everything personally. Truth is, most people are too consumed with their own life to really consider what you’re doing. As my first boss said so well: “The world doesn’t revolve around you. Most people’s reactions have nothing to do with you, so let it go.”
7. Give up the past. We’ve all been hurt, we all had parents that made mistakes and we’ve all been through hell. You didn’t listen to your parents when you were younger, so why are you still listening to their voices in your head now? Every experience in life has taught you something or made you stronger.
8. Give up spending money on what you don’t need in effort to buy happiness. Living simply allows the space for life to flow. We complicate our lives by spending too much money and filling our home with “things.” Less is truly more.
9. Give up anger. Anger burns a hole in the hand of the person still holding on to it. Move it out once and for all.
10. Give up control. Control is an illusion. We live in an out of control world. Learn to embrace the new and welcome change; otherwise you’ll grow old through your own rigidity. Learn to let go.
Via Daily Transformations
We’ll I’ve done it again—-letting guys walk all over me. When will I ever learn? Why can a guy lie and cheat and then walk away and you end up looking like the bad guy? Why is it ok for you to sleep with an ex and try and have an adult and rational conversation and they have no response and regret it instantly? That’s what I did—I messed up big time and thought this person had changed and thought maybe we were at a better place and he iced me. And now all these emotions have come up again, anger, pain, hurt and I hate it. And I want him to feel the pain and the hurt he has caused me, but then that makes me a bad person right? I should rise above it, I know, but it’s a lot easier said than done. I need to make a change, I’ve just been struggling with how, how do I get to a better place, you would think after 6 months I would be in a better place and I feel as if I’m back to square one. I’m stuck. During this Thanksgiving week though I am thankful for my friends and family and I just need to remind myself of that.
Here’s a quote that I like and truly reflects how I feel—I can’t remember where I found it, but I keep it at my desk and in my wallet as a motivation:
No matter what, once in your life, someone will hurt you. That someone will take away all that you are, and rip it into pieces and they won’t even watch where the pieces land. But through the breakdown, you’ll learn something about yourself. You’ll learn that you’re strong. And no matter how hard they destroy you, that you can conquer anyone.
Be noble for you are made of stars. Serbian Proverb (via larmoyante)
So this is the first time I am deciding to share with people via online, maybe some people will care, maybe some people won’t but I believe writing is a way for me to get across my feelings and work through things
So the holidays are approaching and usually they have always been a joyous time of year for me, I love Thanksgiving and Christmas and getting to spend time with my family who I love so much, but this year it’s a little more difficult. This is the first year in the last 4 years that I don’t have my best friend in my life, the guy who made the holidays extra special for us by the romantic dinners, the cuddling, the songs, the lights, the holiday parties with friends. Everyone always says its nice having someone special with you for the holidays and they aren’t wrong. I’m not alone because I do have my wonderful family and friends, but it still sucks and hurts not having that special person there with you and knowing that “that” special person is sharing his holidays with someone else.
So let me go back a bit—it’s been six months since my bf broke up with me and let me tell you it hasn’t been an easy six months by any account. It’s been some of the hardest months of my life—-and it’s not just because my bf broke up with me, but it’s because I lost my best friend. I lost that person in my life who I could tell anything to, the person I trusted and depended most on in this life. The person who could make me cry, but also make me laugh and smile and taught me what true happiness is. I know you should never let a guy/girl define you and I’ll admit I lost myself a bit along the way, but I always found myself, with him, by him, next to him. I made mistakes along the way, he made mistakes along the way and my mistakes ultimately drew him away from me and that is something I have struggled with tremendously.
And you know what I guess it was my fault that I stayed with him so long, especially when he did everything he could to try and not date me, I pushed and I stuck around because I saw something in him, he made me feel a certain way and I just didn’t want to give up. But here I am today, and I feel broken, empty and just unhappy. I’m unhappy with choices I made, I’m mad at him for hurting me and giving me this false sense of happiness for the past year, I’m mad at myself for letting him have this power over me, I hate feeling this way. I want to be happy, but I’m scared, I’m scared to put myself out there again, to fall in love and give someone the opportunity to hurt me like this again. My best friend from college tells me I love so hard, I wear my heart on my sleeve and it’s so true. I love hard, and when I love someone I will do anything for that person. I’m loyal to a fault, I’m stubborn and crazy and emotional, but I have that person’s back through thick or thin and I’ll do anything to make that person happy and I gave that all to my bf, 110% all day/every day and he broke me. He tells me it’s easy to meet people living in Chicago, that I need to move on (I do and I will and I will try) but it’s not that easy for me. It’s not easy for a person who would give their life for another person, who loved someone so completely and deeply, and accepted that person flaws and all, who wouldn’t walk away when times got hard, and that person I loved, walked out on me.
You can’t force someone to love you, I know that and I could never keep him if he didn’t love me, which is obvious, my struggle is how he left, the things he said and didn’t say to me, and how quickly he was able to move on, how easy it was for him to find himself sharing a life with someone else. Why wasn’t I enough, why have I never been enough for someone else, when will it be my turn? And people tell me my day will come, the time will come and I would love to believe it, I really would, but how do I allow myself to let happiness in, how can I allow myself to trust again. I know I sound a bit cynical right now, believe me that’s not the type of person I am, but if you’ve been hurt over and over again and let yourself be hurt over and over again, it just wears a person down. Sometimes I feel like I only have so much love to give and I poured it into a person I loved and believed in and wanted to take care of.
This person is not easy to get over, as much as he has hurt me and the pain I have caused him at times, I would still do anything for him. He’s still the person I want to share things with all the time, he’s that person I want in my corner and he’s still the person who can make me so mad, but yet so happy.
I’ve been working through a lot of things the last year or so, and writing seems to be the best outlet, so I’m going to use this “blog” as my outlet. And if anyone cares to share their thoughts or comment on my thoughts please feel free to share.